Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Love Awakens

I thought I had it figured out. I thought I was living in the moment, life in every breath. I believed attention was paid to detail. And then, of course,  I was proven wrong.

My fiancee has surprised me again and again, but no more. She has paid far more attention to me than I have myself. Almost two months after my chemotherapy was over, my hair began growing back. She's begun to notice even that it's longer today than it was the night before. She can smell even the slightest change to the scent on my first breath while I hold her.

I've meditated, I've focused, I've paid attention, and I still wasn't at this level, with anyone else, or even myself. How is it that she is so absorbant of her surroundings? It baffled me.

Love. She genuinely loves me. So much so that nothing else exists but this moment. The past is enveloped by the now. And the future can't even hold a candle to what she's feeling in this very moment. No thoughts, no ideas, no memories, just NOW.

It is a beautiful thing, learning this lesson from her. Not only do I realize that no matter how far I go in life, there will always be something I can learn, but that day after day, she can still surprise me. It is a gift, walking through this life hand in hand. When either of us falls, the other is there to pick them right back up, dust them off, and continue walking.

No matter how much money I may make in this world, I will never be richer than I am today. If I ever need to bolster my courage, I just have to look into those dazzling eyes and know that through it all, she has my back. Should the world turn on us, I would hate to be the world.

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